I was reading in Kimberley’s Stanford alumni magazine about this psychology professor, Jeanne Tsai, who studies happiness. She says, “European-Americans aspire more often to a high-energy elation… However people raised in more collective Asian cultures aspire more often to a tranquil joy.” I’m definitely Euro-American based on that analysis (and on everything else), but ever since I read that article, I’ve been really aware of my ideas of happiness. I’m trying to slow my pace and feel good about my life. Mostly, the big change is I’m taking baths almost every night. But I can feel myself moving through the world differently.
Speaking of this slower pace, sometimes I feel like I’ve got so much energy, there isn’t room for others to relate to me. I’ve been thinking about the difference between a spork and a spark. (The dictionary says a spork is a combination of a spoon and a fork and a spark is an electrical discharge.) I think some of my relationships tend to be more sporky than sparky. Here are my own definitions:
A spork relationship: One in which two things try to fit together but don’t. As one unit, they are still functional, with their own unique humor, but a spork relationship is not sustainable or practical. It’s unheard of for most people to use sporks instead of spoons and forks. There just isn’t a demand. Spork relationships can be fun and silly, but they exist based on their tchotchke appeal more on anything else.
A spark relationship: Full of stimulation. Long lasting based on a mutual desire to discover new things about each other. The key word is “mutual”. Art, fire, electricity, change, and in most cases life require a spark.
So my Rosh Hashanah goals include:
-Learning to find a balance between a high-energy and a tranquil sense of happiness
-Creating more spark relationships
