Veena And Neena Saved My Life!

I'm back on the bellydancing. I love the DVDs. Not only am I running, but I'm also doing my farranic (spl?) arms, sidebends, and hip drops.

Two days ago, I was doing some bellydancing with Veena and Neena (the bellydancing twins seen above) and the narrator on the DVD says, "You'll see results in no time," which made me think, will I see results or will I not? I mean, I think what she was saying is soon, I'll see results. But it could also mean, there will not come a time when I see results. Since I used to have a very serious bellydancing regiment and never saw results, I'm kind of banking on not getting much from it, but I sure do love to shake my hips.

Yesterday, the narrator lady asked, "Are you having fun?" and I said, "not really," and she answered, "Good!" Is the woman inside Kimberley's DVD machine happy that I'm not having fun? Hard to say.

Last night I went out dancing with my wonderful sister. We shook what our mama gave us. Apparently, our mama gave us about the same thing since we both dance the same way. I love dancing. I think I'm going to try to go every week. It's not like I have anything else going on. Plus, I feel so good breaking it down.

Cornelius is Staring At Me Like I Should Be Ashamed...

I turned down the apartment offer that I got last night. I'm not having trouble getting offers, but I'm looking for something perfect. I liked the apt a lot and everything was great except the guy was a little too, I don't know. I can't say it without being offensive. He was a hippy. That's the best way to put it.

I had a job interview this morning that I skipped.

No running because it's raining, so I've spent all morning indoors. I think I'll do my bellydancing DVDs later. I've missed them.

I'm not moving to Chicago. It's decided.

Tonight I may check out a queer band that's playing somewhere around here.

In the meantime, I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how I feel like I've been falsely advertised to. I thought all ages divisible by 9 would be great, but 27 is a bust so far.

Onward and upward or some such.

Flipping A Gigantic Coin

There's this thing where once I start moving, I don't want to stop. I mean, I just got here but part of me wants to move on. When the going gets tough...

So, still running uphill to find work and housing. Here's the new question:

Chicago or Boston.

Pros of Boston:
1. already here
2. near my sister (actually I couldn't be closer to her unless I was sitting on her lap)
3. good public transport.
4. on the east coast which means easy access to lots of people i know and some people i love
5. where my school is located
6. could be nice if i could just get a job and a house
7. riva and miles may come here for school next year

Pros of Chicago:
1. really like the vibe
2. good public transport.
3. cheaper than boston
4. good art scene
5. feel like i might fit in better
6. nice queer community
7. in the great midwest

You decide. I'll do whatever you tell me to do.

songs of the day:
Chicago by Sufjan Stevens
New England by Jonathan Richman

Where Is Hashem When I Need Her?

Last night I went to my second housing possibility. When I showed up, I realized that the two women I would be living with were 23 year-old lesbians from Mount Holyoke. (We already knew I’m ageist.) I had constructed in my head this whole angelic scenario where I get there and can't believe how perfect they are. Why? Because their ad had virtually no information in it. I should have known.

So, not only were they baby lesbians, but (where do I start?) they had horse pictures all over their home. I mean all over. And there was no irony to any of it.

Anyone who has known me for more than half an hour knows that I despise horses. There's nothing I hate more than horses except horse-lovers. See the attached picture? That's a sample of the "art" covering their walls. Weird.

I'm pretty sure G-D is angry at me which is why I'm also posting this picture (taken in Minneapolis) where I'm sticking my tongue out at her. G-D is being a meany. Maybe I'm just not appreciative of the things I do have. Something to consider.

I try to have a sense of humor about all of this, but the truth is, nothing is feeling very funny. Job searching is harder than ever (I know my expectations are high, but still...), housing possibilities are non-existent, and it won't stop raining.

G-D, throw me a lifeline!

Reading: Birds of America (liking it, but wondering if I'm going to get tired of her style)
On repeat: I Should Of by The Pretenders

Harriet, Kimberley, Transmen, and Me

After attending the lesbian moms' baby-naming for little Harriet (named after the fabulous dykey sleuth Harriet the spy), Kimberley and I spent most of yesterday walking around good old Jamaica Plain.

We were in search of the Harvest Food Coop, as I was convinced that they would have a giant housing bulletin board. We really could have used Harriet's help, since every time we asked for directions, we got lost. You know how this story turns out: after four hours, we finally found the coop and the bulletin board was measly with only one housing ad, which I had already read on craigslist. The only reason I thought they would have a bulletin is because every other coop in the country has one! Just that, nothing else. It was still great to check out JP, as this is where I plan to live with all the rest of the gays in the Boston area.

Anyway, this morning, I read the Sunday NY Times. The style section has a hilarious front-page article about how lesbians are threatened by transmen. Um, no. Not really been my experience. If anything, every dyke I know is desperate to get some transman into bed. Okay, not every single one, but sheesh. The NY Times is getting more and more laughable every week. They so desperately want to be on the frontlines of queer life, somehow thinking this is where the "hip" youngsters reside, but alas, their reporting is flat, boring, and totally outdated. Those silly reporters need to get it together.

probably a stupid dilemma

so after i came back from running today (i just like the way that sounds. i really did go running, but it's so ridiculous to start a sentence like that, i mean come on!) i saw that kimberley's local paper was opened to a (none other than) good vibrations ad.
as many of you know, miles and i used to work there and that's how we met. it was the best/worst of times. now, here's the question: should i apply to work at the one that is in brookline? (yes, there's a goodvibes here.)
i know you'll probably say no, gili, you hated it there. but i did meet a lot of people and they pay well. and i don't have a job. confession: i called them up this morning and left a message asking if they're hiring. they might not even hire me back since i was such a troublemaker and was practically fired near the end.
tell me what to do. (miles, i'm well-versed on your opinion, so you are not obligated to write a manifesto at this time.)

Going 80

There were lots of really emotional parts to my trip, but one surprise was passing Oberlin.

It was so weird, driving on 80, passing Elyria and Lorain and the sign for Antioch and Oberlin. I saw Black River and a sign for Cedar Point. I never thought I'd go back there, but I considered stopping for brunch at the Black River Cafe. Does it still exist? I got really nostalgic over our Sunday brunches: Matt, Vanya, Ellen, Riva, Jen, me, sometimes Danielle or others.

I cried a little thinking about the last five years (or is it six?) that I've been away from there. So much has changed and I've grown up in a lot of ways.

I thought about New Mexico, Key West, our trip to Massachusetts (Mountain Dew style), rugby tournaments, trips to Super K, my summer at Oberlin, so many things. I really got mushy about it.

Other things related to my trip (that made me feel something):
1. Passing Palmer, Mass where I used to attend camp.
2. Driving by Tara's hometown in Longmeadow.
3. Driving by Great Barrington (Catherine's home)
4. Realizing how connected my life has always been to Massachusetts (at least since I was old enough to attend camp here)
5. School bus in Wisconsin with a sign on the window that said "Jews Rock!!"
6. Dead bugs in my motel room
7. Great yummy Trader Joes food that kept me happy throughout the entire ride
8. My Sacred I-Pod (and listening to "Song For The Lonely" by Cher on repeat)
9. Cornelius' good behavior and love
10. Miles' great phone conversations and love
11. Dad's great navigational skills around Boston (via my cell phone)
12. Really horrible traffic in Illinois (Aimee, what's that about?) and the thousands of tolls that sucked up all my money, but the incredible friendliness of all the toll workers
13. Kimberley helping me unpack my stuffed vw
14. Lake Erie up by Buffalo (an old train passing by). this was by far the most scenic moment in my trip (though a lot of Massachusetts came in second place).

Anyway, it's surreal to be in Somerville. I got up this morning and walked up Mass Ave to find a cat scratcher. Here I am again.

I don't think I'm ready for another Big Cry yet, but I've been leaking tears since I left.

Wish Me Luck

Off to the East Coast. I'm planning on driving 8-hour days or so. I should arrive in Somerville Sunday night or Monday morning depending on how things work out.

Lots of love and feel free to call me along the way. I'll need someone to talk with besides Cornelius.

Pre-Annotation: Some Literary-ish Thoughts

I've finished "Lives of Girls and Women" by Munro and "Breakfast At Tiffany's" by Capote. Both are very different. I haven't written my annotations yet, but I need to get this off my chest:

1. I really don't feel very attached to Capote. Loved the movie, not excited about the writer. What gives? The characters are fine, nothing to jump up and down over. I want to like him but it's really a take it or leave it kind of situation.

2. Munro has a big brain. I'm not sure I understand what goes on in there and I don't know how she does it. But I really do think she's a living, breathing genius. Intimidation comes to mind. I don't think her book is perfect and I wouldn't have made a lot of the choices she made, but come on, the woman is a work of brilliance. I've got to absorb as much as possible just in case there's a chance some geniosity leaks off the page and into my smaller brain.

For those of you getting a head start: next I'm reading Lorrie Moore's "Birds of America" (everyone loves her, let's face it. I've read a short-story from this book, but I'm excited to read it in its entirety). And I'll be reading Tobias Wolff's "The Night in Question." Stay tuned.

Big Changes

Friday will be my last day living in Minneapolis. I'm moving to the east coast.

My job is over, my stuff mostly packed. It's weird to be leaving. Weird isn't really the right word. It's sad and surreal. I have moments when all of this rushes over me. I don't really want to go into the specifics on this blog. I just wanted to give the head's up.

I'm going to be driving alone across country, something I've never done before. I'm nervous and excited for the adventure. Well, I won't be completely alone because Cornelius will be with me. She usually sleeps in the car.

I don't know what else to say.

True Toe Story

This evening Miles and I were driving home with the windows down. I had my feet up on the dashboard like always.

A woman pulled up next to us at a red light in a blue Chevy minivan. She has curly dyed black hair and big sunglasses. I didn't even notice her until she called out to me:

"Look at those cute little toes! Does your mommy love them? I bet she does."

I said thanks (I think) and then the light turned green. I swear this happened. If Miles hadn't been there, I might not believe it. I'm not telling this story because I'm begging for toe compliments. (I know they're cute.)

I'm telling it because people love to talk to me. Strangers are always saying weird things to me. This is just the most current example.

p.s. mom, do you love my toes?

Part Two: Straight Girls Love To Put Makeup On Me

Here's two more pictures from my day at the Aveda Institute. Yup, this is what happens when I go there.

Song of the day: Break Up To Make Up (get it?) by The Stylistics

Drag Queen Gili

Riva wanted to see what I look like after a day at Aveda. Here's my drag queen eyes. That's all you're getting.
xoxo

Chocolate Covered Bagel

Been a while since my last food post.

I want a chocolate covered bagel. Some say this is just another couple words for a doughnut, but I disagree. I want a real live bagel covered in chocolate.

Maybe this can be a new product that I create and market. I really could be on to something.

A Steinsky Original.

p.s. I heart Alice Munro. Genius material.