There is nothing worse than waking up with a sense of dread. This day can't be as bad as yesterday or for that matter, the day before, right?
I was just thinking how there's something so wrong with the irony that I can learn SO much about writing and about my creative voice and simultaneously feel like my honest self is not being seen or heard. Maybe that's not the real definition of irony. (After the Alanis Morissette controversy, I never like to refer to things as "ironic", running the risk that like the singer, I don't understand what that word really means.) Anyway, you get the point.
I have to go back there today and I just want to hide out at Kimberley's.
I wish I didn't have to make choices like:
-Should I be honest about who I am and make things weird or be dishonest about who I am and feel invisible?
The song "Desert Island" by The Magnetic Fields feels particularly applicable.
I'm sick of writing gloomy posts, which I think is a passive way of saying, I'm sick of feeling gloomy.
Lots of love to all of you.
