Does every Aikido student have an Achilles’ heel? I am a warrior with a hardened heart and a vicious bite, but there’s one creature that can send me running to the roof, exiling myself from my home and giving up residency/agency: my enemy, The Roach.
Sure, I’ve had my share of creatures. But today, I saw the largest roach of my life, climbing the bathroom wall in my apartment.
I’m no amateur: I was raised in Florida and have seen roaches the size of my extended shadow. I’ve been to Israel where the roaches fly. I’ve been to Zimbabwe where bugs are equal in size to my cat. But today, my new friend, my new roommate championed over my life.
Cornelius is no help. She is a passive, somewhat curious observer. In San Francisco, she managed to murder a bird that had somehow found its way into my apartment. And yet…
When I really need her to kill, what does she do?
Not a thing.
Kim told us over brunch that everything happens for a reason. Generally I go along with this sentiment, but can someone tell me why G-d created the roach?
Conveniently, my sister is somewhere in Manhattan celebrating Shavuot (which she explained as “getting drunk on the Torah”) with friends.
She promised to rid my apartment of the evil bug upon her return. But I’m hedging my bets on the innocent disappearance of the giant creature when others enter my apartment.
Ah! Thunder. And I’m on the roof. Where can I go?
In my haste to leave my apartment, I put on a pair of shorts that are missing their top button, so I can’t venture into Astoria. I’m trapped in my building.
Musically: Day of Locusts by Bob Dylan
Update: It's pouring. I'm braving the apartment. So far, no sign.
