holiday warmth and comfort food (Florida style)

Florida is good for two things: humidity and seafood.

out of the basement

Aimee reminded me that I am officially out of the basement. For real, for real. No more living or working underground.

In celebration of my new out-of-the-mole-hole life (and as a belated house-warming, and as a celebration of my new job, and to accent the AWP conference), Abbey and I are hosting a dinner party at my home in Astoria. You're invited and please come. I will need to get some kind of furniture beforehand. (Our party won't happen until the first of February.)
Some kind of evite/announcement will go out after my January residency.

More pressing: I need a new blog name. Please keep the suggestions coming.

*I am watching yet another Criterion movie (there's only one more left on my queue): Fanny och Alexander
. I'm liking it even though it is a period piece. At least it's in color.
*Reading (and if I like it, I may teach): Rudolfo A. Anaya's The Christmas Play

unwinding from business casual

I know I'm obsessed with the ridiculous wardrobe I have to adorn five days a week, but give me a little while to freak out about it. It's one of my first major paradigm shifts since I moved to New York. 70% of my stress around teaching is figuring out what I can wear that looks good and doesn't violate the dress code.

This is my new dress, which I actually like, but I can't reveal any tattoos, so I had to wear a cardigan all day.

The boots are also new and I love them but I'm too scared that they fall more on the casual side and less on the business side. I wore them out with Aimee tonight, and she said she wasn't sure if I could get away with them.

You be the judge:
"Dress shoes or boots of low to medium heel" are considered acceptable attire for women.
"Flip flop sandals, sneakers, clogs, rubber shoes of any kind" are unacceptable.
And by rubber shoes, do they mean crocs or rain boots?

The faculty bake-off was disappointing.

ESL was super fun. I really have to shift brain speeds in the same way I had to calm down when I took tai-chi in college. Of course, I hated tai-chi and practically passed out during class every day, but so far, I've enjoyed the sensation of explaining the mechanics of English in slow-motion.

And three cheers for my short story class. We're reading Carver's "Cathedral" and they're into it now that the main character is smoking weed.

I just finished reading Play It As It Lays and I did not enjoy the story. I'm not giving up on Didion, but I am taking a break.

Next up: Amy Bloom's Away.

Tonight is the first time in a week that I will have some self-care time. My bathtub awaits.

Look who found a loophole in business casual

Day two: Today I teach one of my two Intro to English sections. The textbook for this class promises to be rather dry, but I'm willing (and eager) to be proved wrong.

Here I am in my first wardrobe revelation. Everything is acceptable wear according to my thorough handout, and the good news is that I still look like myself (minus the lipstick. Aimee, just accept it; normal people wear lipstick.).

Off to teach and then back to Manhattan for the first time in days to catch up with Denise.

Every hour is accounted for until I can figure out how to not be consumed by lesson planning. I am currently right on schedule (minus an article I haven't written and some logistical stuff I haven't started).

Biz Caj

Here I am on my very first day of teaching. Professor Gili all dressed up in her business casual. Don't I look awkward? Yes. Yes, I do.

Some questions/comments made by the students of my short story class:
-Everything in this anthology is boring.
-Are you a mean teacher?
-This is retarded.
-I read a story in here and it was so corny. (When I asked her the name of the story she read, she said:) I can't remember. Something about Alabama. This whole book is stupid.
-My favorite book is The Habits of 7 Highly Effective People.
-I also liked The Color of Water.
-Do you always write so big?

In class, we read three stories by Sandra Cisneros including an old favorite of mine, My Friend Lucy Who Smells Like Corn. Nobody was satisfied with this piece because not enough happens. They wanted more action, more of a beginning, middle, and end. I suppose that's fair.

Tomorrow I have my giant (19 people) intro class. Eeeps.

Big changes.

Please enjoy an interlude brought to you by The Onion:

Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement


WASHINGTON—After decades spent battling gender discrimination and inequality in the workplace, the feminist movement underwent a high-level shake-up last month, when 53-year-old management consultant Peter "Buck" McGowan took over as new chief of the worldwide initiative for women's rights.

Head feminist "Buck" McGowan leads a march on Washington for women's rights.

McGowan, who now oversees the group's day-to-day operations, said he "couldn't be happier" to bring his ambition, experience, and no-nonsense attitude to his new role as the nation's top feminist.

"All the feminist movement needed to do was bring on someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business," said McGowan, who quickly closed the 23.5 percent gender wage gap by "making a few calls to the big boys upstairs." "In the world of gender identity and empowered female sexuality, it's all about who you know."

McGowan, who was selected from a pool of roughly 150 million candidates, made eliminating sexual harassment his first priority before working on securing reproductive rights for women in all 50 states, and promoting healthy body images through an influx of strong, independent female characters in TV, magazines, and film.

"It's about time," McGowan said upon returning from a golf game with several "network honchos" in which he brokered a deal to bring a variety of women's sports to prime-time television. "These ladies should have brought me on years ago."

McGowan claimed that one of the main reasons the movement enjoyed so little success in the past was that the previous management was often too timid and passive and should have been much more results-focused.

"You can't waste time pussyfooting around with protests and getting all emotional about a bunch of irrelevant details," McGowan said. "If you want to enjoy equal rights, you have to have a real man-to-man chat with the people in charge until you can hammer out some more equitable custody laws."

"And don't get me started on how disorganized and scatterbrained their old fundraising methods were," McGowan added. "Let's just say the movement never really had a head for numbers."

After McGowan successfully appointed three of his best men to lead Smith College's women's studies department and called in some favors to a number of powerful board chairmen to triple the number of female CEOs in Fortune 500 companies, analysts predicted that the feminist movement could achieve all of McGowan's goals by as early as 2009.

"With a charismatic, self-assured guy like Pete pulling the strings, we might even see a female elected president one of these days," said Nathan Roth, an analyst at the Cato Institute. "Finally, the feminist movement has a face that commands respect."

McGowan, however, said he didn't get into the business of women's rights for the praise.

"What these women were able to accomplish with the little manpower they had is very impressive," McGowan said. "I just bring a certain something to the table—I'm not sure what—that gave us that extra little push into complete female independence. I guess it just comes naturally."

But despite his modesty, McGowan continues to garner praise from those closest to the cause.

"The whole movement just seems more legitimate with Buck in charge," leading feminist Gloria Steinem said at a gala dinner Friday. "His drive, focus, and determination are truly remarkable. Mr. McGowan is a man with a plan."

Although he has not hinted at any future projects after all forms of gender discrimination are a thing of the past, McGowan has vehemently denied rumors that he will leave the feminist movement to head up the struggle for gay rights.

"The wife would kill me if I took on any more hours," McGowan said. "I'm sure those fellows know how that goes."

After the party, there's the after party (grilled cheese sandwich)

Amy Sedaris and Dolly Parton . What could be hotter?

last night in Woodstock

glow-in-the-dark plant behind Riva's mom's bookstore

Chaya

Steven, Grandma, Debra, and Scott

Larry, Steven, and Debra

pouting Chaya

study hour with Riva and Tanya

after the turkey; sigh.

Last night, Riva read me the funniest children's book, The Latke Who Couldn't Stop Screaming: A Christmas Story at the bookstore where Gaela works.

I tried not to laugh too much, what with the broken back.

Attached to a children's book, we found a pony necklace, which I am proudly sporting.


More pictures of Riva's home taken this morning:

Thanksgiving in Woodstock

My back went out on Wednesday. I went to the E.R. I still wanted to come up to Riva's for Thanksgiving. Most of these pictures are taken while I'm hopped up on Vicodin, Motrin, and Flexeril.



























Unbeknownst to me, after insulting the entire Criterion Collection (and yes, I DO like some of the Criterion movies including Kicking and Screaming, My Own Private Idaho, Wes Anderson movies, Jules et Jim, and I Am Curious Blue and Yellow) I ended up mingling with Tom Hurwitz during Thanksgiving. He is the son of Leo Hurwitz (blacklisted documentary filmmaker). Turns out Tom was interviewed for the Criterion edition of Native Land. Somehow Riva is related to these people. She's a star!