Why living here makes sense

Tonight, Nukah, Joseph, and I went for a walk and a picnic in the rain. It's going to be a hot summer with blips of relief during thunderstorms.

Our picnic: salami, goat cheese, and figs combined by my personal chef, Joseph.

Home, drying off. Now warm in bed for snuggling, hot cocoa, and comfort television.

Bliss.

home, sigh

Friday morning, Nukah and I moved back to the big city.

Joe and I hit the pavement, running full speed into our new/old lives. We spent a good chunk of the weekend apartment searching and mingling at the dog run. The move is going to be hardest on Nukah, who is mourning the separation from Halligan, Charlie, and the country life.

Listening to Broken Social Scene
Reading In the Land of Men by Antonya Nelson
Screening Ratcatcher
Searching for a black tie optional dress for next weekend's wedding
Keeping my promise by cutting my hair to match my poser-skater lifestyle

A happy foot

My last blog entry was super bleak. Give me this opportunity to start the summer on, dare I say, a happy foot. School is out, though I am obligated to come to school each day of this week to help clean up and restore order.

Joseph and I are developing Project Anti-Anxiety Summer 2010. Those of you who know me at all will understand what an undertaking this could prove to be. With determination and the stubbornness of a forest fire, I will prove you wrong. I expect a t-shirt or a medal if I pull this off.

Friday is my last day upstate for a while (forever?). This coming weekend marks my Brooklyn homecoming. It will be sad to leave the country life, particularly for Nukah, who is currently living in doggy heaven. On the other hand, Joseph and I will be in the same place. We are making our way, demanding the right to be together, insisting upon an “us”.

This year, I continued to learn:

It’s okay to let other people hold me up, hold my hand, share my life.

It’s okay to need people and to let people need me.

It’s okay to be good at some things and not as good at others.

I can see things all the way through.

I am not a failure at life.

I am not a team player.

Seriousness must be balanced with silliness.

I don’t need the seasons; in fact, I’d prefer fewer seasonal type things like, let's say, winter.

Life is less lonely when you share it with people with the same sense of humor.

(This is what I meant in an earlier blog post when I said I would thank my family and friends later. Thank you, family and friends.)

Vermont is not for me.

Every ounce of energy has been sucked out of me over this school year. As a parting gift, I was forced to go on an end-of-the-year school trip to Vermont with nineteen bratty teenagers.


These are students who don't deal well with lack of structure, so we decided it would be wise to spend four days trying to micromanage their behavior out in public.


The worst part of this is that Vermont doesn't seem to believe in the importance of coffee.


Yesterday I dragged myself from activity to activity, never caffeinated, while I was under orders to pretend to care about the fate of the students.


I have about sixty report cards to write by Monday morning; I don't see how that's going to happen.


As usual, the teachers' needs are undermined by the whims of the administration. Wouldn't it be fun to make the teachers suffer on their final days? I want to be voted off the island.


We ran into this little kid, hiking in dog pajamas- definitely a highlight.


Today is our final day before the long trip back tomorrow morning. At least this evening I get to hang out with my old friend, Abbey in Burlington.

Adjusting to the elements

Joseph and I spent Saturday on Jones Beach with three of my coworkers.


He won the prize for burn victim though he did wear (and reapply) sunscreen.


Courtney, Heidi, and Vicky weren't quite as sun seared, but Vicky experienced a sand scratch on her cornea, so I think she suffered the most.


It's going to be a fabulous summer!

Puppy bliss

Nukah and I are staying at Riva's parents' home for the next couple of weeks.


I can't think of a more heavenly place to be a dog.


Charlie is still figuring out Nukah.

I associate Riva's home with sleep. It's almost impossible to be stressed when I'm there.

Reflecting on the life of Louise Bourgeois

"Art is a guarantee of sanity."

“When you go from painting to this, it means you have an aggressive thought. You want to twist the neck of a person. I became a sculptor because it allowed me to express … what I was embarrassed to express before.”

"Art is manipulation without intervention."

"Everywhere in the modern world there is neglect, the need to be recognized, which is not satisfied. Art is a way of recognizing oneself, which is why it will always be modern."

"Sometimes it is necessary to make a confrontation – and I like that."

"What interests me is the conquering of the fear, the hiding, the running away from it, facing it, exorcising it, being ashamed of it, and, finally, being afraid of being afraid."

"My work disturbs people and nobody wants to be disturbed. They are not fully aware of the effect my work has on them, but they know it is disturbing."

"From the beginning I was an overachiever. That is to say, if you flatter me, or if you look at me the right way, I will kill myself to please you. It's very painful to be an overachiever."

"An artist can show things that other people are terrified of expressing."

Approaching the finish line

The end of the school year is approaching and I’m beginning to exhale. The students are in a summery mood, and are being especially nice because it’s report card-writing time. I don’t have enough distance to know if the students have learned or what they are taking away this year. I know that I’m leaving with a lot of new information. The next couple months will be a time for me to sort it out and try to make some sense of this experience.

I have so much gratitude for my family and friends who made this year possible. I will write more about my appreciation in a future post.

I want to go home, but I'm not sure where that is. Sometimes home is driving with Nukah by my side, windows down, sun shining, music playing, and a cup of coffee in the holder.

To answer my mom's question: no, most of the students did not like the ambrosia salad. It's a lonely world, working with teenagers.

full (marshmallow and whipped topping) circle

It's the end of the year and my classes are wrapping up. We're watching Edward Scissorhands in Mythology, Meaning, and Metaphor and my students squealed with disgust and confusion when Edward is fed ambrosia salad. Of course I protested and insisted that ambrosia salad is a supreme cuisine. Some of them have never tried it before. Tonight, I made some for our final class tomorrow. They'll see the light:


Ambrosia salad really brings the school year full circle. I made ambrosia salad all by myself for the first time for the faculty bar-b-que right before the students returned to school in September.

"Ambrosia" literally means the food or drink of the Greek gods, so it makes sense to sample this delicacy in my mythology class.

Additionally, I forgot to add this classic picture of Halligan and Nukah:

Halligan and Nukah

Everyday after school, Nukah plays with his best friend in the neighborhood, Halligan. In a week, Nukah and I are moving to another part of town for the month of June. Then we'll be in Brooklyn for the summer. There's no way to prepare these puppies for what's coming.

food, family, and fun

Saturday was another packed day in the city:

We ate breakfast with Joe's childhood friend, Per at Brooklyn Label, which is not very tasty, but one of the last convenient spots in the neighborhood. Then we drove into Manhattan and took Nukah to the Chelsea dog run before we met my parents for a pre-lunch dessert at Billy's Bakery. This was the first time my parents met Nukah and inevitably, the love and adoration flowed. Then it was back to the dog run until we ensured that Nukah was completely pooped. In the evening, we ate dinner at my mom's favorite cheesecake destination, Junior's before heading to BAM to see Creditors. Joe and I didn't like the play; it made us wish we were watching The Aliens again. Finally, we headed home to take Nukah for a walk before sleep.

Happy birthday, Mom!

Yesterday, Joe and I drove down to the city to celebrate my mom's sixty-first birthday.


We ate at Elephant and Castle, which was a perfect accidental choice.


My mom sported the terminator glasses for our walk to the theater.


Joe and I got on the waiting list for the show my parents were seeing, The Aliens and I'm glad we did. It ended up being amazing.

Can't stop freezing me out.

Yesterday I took all my winter clothes down to Brooklyn. Today it snowed flurries upstate.

Sort of going home again

We drove to Brooklyn today to drop off a load of my things. While we were in the city, we had lunch with John and finally purchased a skateboard, so Joe can teach me to ride this summer.


The best part of getting my board, which is basically a way of reclaiming (or rewriting) my teenage years, was that I found a deck with a mock Keith Haring design. I wish it was an authentic illustration, but at least it's a shout out to a favorite artist of my youth.


Joe showed me a few of his moves before we drove back upstate.

Taking our pool cue

It's been a good weekend. This morning, Joe and I spent about forty dollars at the public library's book fair. Then we drove over to school to sit in the sun and swim in the pool.


We played lifeguard.


Joseph took the plunge.


There's less than a moment before the hot air and the freezing water collide.


On Monday, it snowed. By Saturday, we were swimming.